The WayBack Machine (Archives)

Little Things…My Facebook status updates April 8-June 11

My children are amazing and make me laugh daily. If you want more status updates, you can click HERE or HERE.

April 9th: Overheard while the girls were watching Sid The Science Kid earlier tonight: “Um, he has like 5 kids in his class–that’s not how it works.” –Olivia making astute observations, per usual.

April 12th: I have been trying to get Sophia to apologize to Olivia for *accidentally* hitting her with a book. After going through all the reasons I could think of, I came up with “if you don’t learn to apologize, you won’t have any friends” She calmly says “well, we don’t have to be friends, we’re sisters.” Touche, Sophia…Touche.

April 16th: As I was changing the sheets on Sophia’s bed, she asked me why she still had to have her waterproof mattress pad under her sheets since she was a big girl and hadn’t had an accident in a long time. I explained that it was just a precaution, in case she did have an accident. “You know, how we wear seat belts? We do that to make sure we are safe if we have an accident.” She thought about this for a moment. “So…a bus doesn’t have seat belts. Does that mean it isn’t safe?” Ahh…you win this round, Sophia…

April 17th: Olivia, my little inventor, was discussing that we needed to grow a huge Venus flytrap, and then find a way to affix it to the roof, so it could catch all the flies and we wouldn’t have them inside. I explained that wouldn’t be good, b/c flies were important too, and Sophia interrupts: “for the envi-wo-mant, bugs are good for the envi-wo-mant!” I laugh and tell her she is right. TWO HOURS LATER she comes into my room “I see a bug, but bugs are good for the envi-wo-mant, according to my calculations, how about your calculations?” I’m gonna get a nice nursing home, suckas.

April 18th: (Discussing dialogue from the Disney cartoon, Gravity Falls) Olivia: “I don’t see what is so scary about a naked man” (red flag#1) Sophia, calmly, very dry and with impeccable delivery: A naked OLD man” Oh dear…

April 23rd: “You know what mama? Having a brother or sister is like having a built in friend…because they are always there.” –Sophia, future greeting card writer.

April 24th: Sophia, in a very small voice as she is snuggling with me: “I want to be the adult and you be the kid.”
Me: “Why would you want that?”
S: “So I could take care of you, and you wouldn’t have to do all the work.”
I’m gonna remember she said that next time I ask her to help clean up.

April 25th: This morning, before school, there was a LEGO hurling incident and Sophia refused to apologize to Olivia. I sent her to her room and Olivia, very calmly says: “Ya know, sometimes I wish I was an only child.” And proceeds to tell me all the reasons why. I told her of why having a sister is awesome, and she looks at me and says “yeah, except when she is being a big butt.” Touche, Olivia, Touche.

April 27th: “Mama, that kid is not so smart…he ran across the street. And his dad isn’t so smart either–he walked across the street looking at his phone.” Olivia people watching. Later, at lunch the waiter messed up our drink order. Sophia looks at me: “Maybe he’s new.” Just some of the gems the girls have spouted today, before noon.

April 30th: “Ryan A was my boyfriend…well…I broke up with him, because I decided that I’m not going to be his girlfriend anymore, but he is still my best friend.” –Sophia, scaring the crap out of me with this talk.

May 1st: 

“Mama, why do you always call me baby?”
“Because, you are my baby!”
“I’m not a baby!”
“You’ll always be MY baby”
“No, I am a 4 year old kid!”
“Okay, what should I call you instead?”
“Well, how about pretty face? No, Sweetie Pie, no Pumpkin Pie!”
“I’m not making any promises, but I’ll try…”
I can’t make this stuff up.
May 2nd: Olivia got extremely upset with me today when I told her she couldn’t make her own lunch tomorrow. I explained that she could tell me what she wanted to include, but I was the mom and it was my job. I couldn’t understand why she was so upset, and then: “Well, mama, I’m supposed to be at school really early for the field trip or they will leave without me!” Guess she’s noticed I’m not quick on the uptake in the morning.
May 10th:  After seeing “in loving memory” at the end of a movie: Sophia looks at me, shrugs he shoulders and says, “what’s that mean? He’s dead?”Ahh, my kid has so much class it hurts.
May 12th: After a rocky start that included a thump & Sophia now sporting a fat lip, I had a wonderful day. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers, fathers who are like mothers, caregivers who take on the mom role, and everyone in-between. Xoxo
May 14th: Tonight during their bath, Olivia says “It’s sometimes hard to get water out of my ear because I got a sticker earring stuck in there.” I thought she was joking. She wasn’t LUCKILY it was close enough to where I could get it out, but it still scared the crap out of her, so she learned a valuable lesson. I then told her about her aunt getting a Barbie shoe stuck up her nose when she was a kid. HA! (edit: it was a Barbie WEIGHT, not a shoe…haha)
May 15th:S: “Mama, can you lie to yourself?”M: “Yes, people lie to themselves all the time, usually to make themselves feel better.”

S: “Oh, well, I lied to myself before.”

M: “Really? What did you lie about?”

S: “I said I didn’t like Ryan A, but that was a lie, I really DO like him.”

M: “Well baby, you can like whomever you want!”

S: “I’m not going to not like you, ever.”

May 31st: 

While watching Stephen Fry’s 100 greatest gadgets with Olivia, the electric blanket is on the list…

M: “oh, I had one of those as a kid!”

O: “but, I thought electricity wasn’t around when you were a kid?”

Damn kid is getting a history book tomorrow. :p

June 11th: “R+S? Seriously Sophia, you need to stop living the boyfriend life…it’s just a small part of it, and when you are older it would be crazy to keep the same boyfriend. I’m not gonna have a boyfriend until I am 28!” Olivia’s got her shit together, apparently.


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