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“You’ve GOT to be Kidding Me!”

This, is my 4-year old’s favorite phrase.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, mama!” followed by a long, exasperated sigh or weird snorting sound.

She says these phrases she hears us say to each other, without quite knowing what she’s saying. Some of our favorites are: “But, you know, it’s really not fair. I think that it’s just not fair” and the conversation could have nothing to do with something being fair or not. She also likes “What in the WORLD?” and Bill has gotten into the habit of telling her “Stop just saying words, make sure they mean something.” She usually follows this up with “Whatever” which infuriates us. Not because she’s being a snot, but because she does NOT understand the connotations of ending an argument with “Whatever”. So she just sounds like a snotty pre-teen when she is really just a little girl with a lot of big words and phrases in her head, who is trying to figure out where they fit in her world.

Wednesday morning, I woke up later than usual, with Sophia still snuggled up under my armpit (she likes to crawl into our bed around 4 or 5 a.m. some mornings), looked at the clock and realized it was 8:30. “Crazy!’ I thought, but figured the girls were still getting used to Daylight Saving’s Time. But then I heard some rustling movement in the living room.

“Olivia?” I called out.

“Yeah mommy?” I heard a small voice reply.

“Come in here right now!” I said, trying to maintain my calm–unsure of how long she had been in the living room, unsupervised.

You may recall, Olivia’s past Curious Incident and the incredible way she managed to access things on her daddy’s computer.

“Olivia? What were you doing in the living room?”

“Um…I can’t tell you.” She said, brown eyes big.

“Yes you can, you can tell me anything, I won’t get mad.” I promised, and meant it. I’m attempting to establish open lines of communication.

“I can’t tell you because I did something I wasn’t supposed to do.” Her brown eyes got wider.

“Like what?” I asked, gently.

“Well…first I played with daddy’s computer…and then I played with that stick from the window that you said I’m not supposed to touch.” She said, gaining confidence when she saw that I wasn’t exploding with anger (though I was biting a hole through my cheek at this point).

“Okay, well, I really wish you would listen when mama and daddy tell you not to do something, because we have these rules for a reason.” I go through the spiel, when she interrupts me:

“But, you’ve got to be kidding me, Mama! Daddy has Jake & the Neverland Pirates on his tunes & it doesn’t play but just a little bit!”

I just started laughing at this point. “What are you talking about?”

“Mama, you’ve really GOT to be kidding me, the tunes! The TUNES STORE! It just plays a little bit of the show, it doesn’t play it all!” You’ve GOT to be kidding me.” she says over and over again, shaking her little curly head.

Later that night, Bill asked her what she did on his computer, and she went over, little hand on her hip and started explaining:

“First I went to ‘tunes store’. She said, matter-of-factly. So Bill clicked on his itunes icon so she could direct him verbally.

“Well…I think a little list of things I could do at the tunes store popped up and then I went to ‘TV shows’ and clicked on ‘Kids’. Then I watched what was in the middle of the screen, and I saw something I wasn’t supposed to watch.

“Uh oh…” I thought.

“What did you see?” Bill asked her.

“I saw Spongebob!” (If you remember, I do have certain rules about TV shows my kids are allowed to watch).

“Ah, I see.” Bill said, trying to hide his shaking laughter.

“But, then I saw Bambi and Jake and the Neverland Pirates, but Daddy, you’ve GOT to be kidding me! It only showed a little bit! Why in the WORLD would it only show a little bit? That’s silly!”

You’ve GOT to be kidding me.




12 comments to “You’ve GOT to be Kidding Me!”

  • Raven

    Now I see why itunes asked for a password to confirm purchases. Y’all are gonna need some serious security settings on everything cause your little hacker is amazing. I can’t wait to hear the next chapter of her adventures in technology. (Make sure your passwords are obscure words she doesn’t know, like quark. You should have at least a few more months before she’s into physics.) 🙂


    natalie Reply:

    Bill is the wizard of hard-to-crack passwords, but the problem is she keeps going into the guest account of his computer, which is password free. It’s pretty insanely hilarious that this is happening at 4 years old.

    I’ll be sure to post further antics of Olivia the hacker. 😉


  • I often think the same thing about iTunes!! Haha! She is one smart little girl!!!


    natalie Reply:

    Ha! Sometimes she says the things I am thinking–she is a smart kiddo, sometimes scary smart, but we are enjoying the ride!


  • Merry Beth

    That is to funny!! Aidan is still to young to repeat most things we say, but her favorite thing to do is but her hands on her cheeks and say “What Happened??”, this is especially directed at Scooby Doo…lol. Good luck with the munchkin hacker!!


    natalie Reply:

    Aww, that’s cute! I remember when they were that young and did that! Makes me miss those days. Now they just say whatever is on their mind. The 2.5 year old is just as bad as the 4.5 year old. Seriously! I’m scared.


  • Awww. I can not wait until JD starts really talking! It’s so great that you are getting this all written down. She will love hearing about it when she is older! And this whole episode should be some kind of itunes commercial 🙂


    natalie Reply:

    Oh goodness, I can’t remember a time when mine DIDN’T talk! But they are funny girls, so I enjoy their wit. I’m so glad I thought to type it all out, I don’t know if they will believe me when they are older!


  • I am pretty sure you can disable the guest account, but I am not sure I want you to because these stories are too cute.


    natalie Reply:

    Oh I know we CAN, but we have too many people who come over (ie: family) who will sit at Bill’s desk (it’s in the living room) and “need to check their email” so Bill set up the guest account so they couldn’t poke around in his private stuff.

    But we’ve got to do SOMETHING, b/c this morning she was trying to teach Sophia how to do it. I heard her telling her “See, you just go up and click the TUNES and you can see the shows!”


  • At least you are paying attention. My younger daughter (aged 9) came to her father the other day and casually asked for the password to our Netflix account. She wanted to “check the queue,” she said. And so Daddy gave her the password.

    And then there was a period of silence in which I recreated in my head the conversation that had just taken place.

    And then I went in search of my daughter, who was watching a Netflix movie on her iTouch.

    Daddy needs to pay attention.

    Children are sneaky.

    I love that your daughter is still at an age where she tells you the truth when you ask.

    I miss that.



    natalie Reply:

    I’m not looking forward to the day when they stop telling the truth. I’m living in a fantasy land where I think “maybe if I don’t get angry when they tell me the truth they will always tell me the truth.” HAHA yeah right. Most of the time it is Baba or Book (imaginary friends) who did it, not Olivia or Sophia, but generally speaking I can get the truth out of them with a little prodding.

    Olivia starts Kindergarten in August. I know my world is going to come crashing down on me right around then. I’m NOT looking forward to it.

    Children are definitely sneaky.


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